October 24, 2009

A Tarot Reading

Since I don't have a deck of tarot cards of my own, I went to this website and did a six card spread called "past, present, future". I asked the question, "What does the future have in store for me?", and this was the result. The pics of the cards are from the "Tarot of Dreams" set of cards, one of my favorites out of those I have seen.


1st card, The Querent


Knight of Wands (inverted)







This first card refers to the person asking the question, and their current circumstances, and/or immediate surroundings.


Inverted the Knight of Wands means(according to the site) that there is a quality of unattractiveness, a failure to close a deal or to convince. Also it means to have a state of mind that prevents growth, which is what stood out to me. I have a mindset that I usually "know" how things are going to happen, how people are going to act, there's a certain predictability to human behavior. I have come to the realization that this may not be the best way to think. Many times things do not fit into a box, people often have hidden agendas, there is more to life than meets the eye. My "predictability" complex is hindering my spiritual growth as well. I analyze the stimulus in a given situation, and extrapolate an outcome, based on my own life experience, and I am often wrong. I am stubborn, and slow to adopt a new idea especially if I don't agree 100%. This kind of thinking is what this card is telling me I need to get rid of, to grow and learn spiritually, as well as live life to the fullest.


2nd card, Oppositions


Seven of Wands





The "Oppositions" card gives insights into what forces or individuals stand in the way of progress. Or, as I think it means in this particular case, what qualities are lacking.


This card stands for courage. To stand up in the face of challenges and forces and fight for what you believe is right. To "seize the day" as it were. This I lack in all areas of my life. Whether it be relationships, work, or school, I have never really stood up for myself and what I believed in. I have always been one to choose flight over fight, and this card is telling me that I need to find courage to attain my goals, and to live life. Sometimes fighting is a GOOD thing to do. Not fighting with people, arguing with the shrew, but fighting for my right to be me, to aggressively chase the life I want.


3rd card, Histories


Strength (inverted)





"Histories" of course is all about the past. What has brought this person to this point? What or who has influenced? What has been the state of mind?


The Strength card inverted means clumsiness, a careless use of power that reveals underlying flaws. What this means to me is that I have had a past of lazily drifting through life with little to no real direction or intent, and that has brought me to the point I am now, with no job and a failing marriage. I think the thing that spoke to me the most about this card, and the whole reading really, is that it verified a lot about my life that I have been denying, for fear of feeling like a loser, being down on myself. But understanding past faults and acknowledging them is what I have to do to be able to move on. They are a part of what brought me to where I am today, and just because something I did may be viewed as bad, it doesn't make me a bad person, it makes me "me". Plus, there has been a LOT of good things that happened and good things I've done, and for some reason I have a tendency to focus on the negative. So it's time to leave the past in the past, acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.


4th card, Near futures


King of cups (inverted)




Here again, "Near futures" denotes exactly what it says, what's in the near future. How does the present affect tomorrow? What is coming next on the path?



The King of Cups inverted denotes the presence of a deserter, or someone who will betray. Someone with deep personal flaws, someone who influences by force, intimidation and fear. This card in this position gave me warning about my wife. She and I are not yet in the midst of a divorce, but we want to be. The only thing standing in the way is finances. She is just this type of person, always trying to force her way, she has very little ability to compromise. I have reason to believe she is making plans to leave with the kids. It won't be bad to be split up from her, I think she and I agree we are going in different directions, but it WILL be bad to be away from my girls. So if she is in fact making plans, that is not going to end well. We'll see.


5th card, Strategies


Death





The "Strategies" card gives insight into mindsets and courses of action to help the "querent" as he or she moves into the future, shows things to be mindful of.


The Death card signifies the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. It can also mean the loss of personal property, or a larger trend coming to a close. This one seemed pretty obvious to me, as I understand that my life is about to change significantly. A divorce has a tendency to do that. Greater than that, my spiritual life is going through a pretty big change too, so again, pretty obvious. I think on top of all that though, the thing I need to be most mindful of is that things are always changing, nothing ever stays the same. Change is good, and it's about time I embraced the idea.


6th card, Wholeness


4 of Pentacles (inverted)





The "Wholeness" card depicts the energy of the whole situation, and gives insight as to the outcome, and its defining issue.


The 4 of pentacles inverted is interpreted as "the perfect storm". As the site says "an unfortunate coincidence for which one is not prepared". This seems pretty danged dire to me, like my whole world is about to blow up in my face, and I am not ready for it. Ties into the near future card I think, if things go as they are going now, I'm sure it will. So, I must prepare myself. Double my efforts to look for a job. Make sure I have suitable living arrangements. Just make sure I look out for signs of trouble.




Well that was my reading. It was a real eye opener for me. It was all stuff I knew about, stuff I knew I should be mindful of, things I should change, but as of yet, had done little to do so. Other things I had only suspected are now more or less verified. I don't know exactly what is going to happen obviously, but it seems pretty clear from all the warning signs that unless I do something, the future doesn't look too bright. I don't know what to say other than I'm happy I got this insight, because now I can move ahead with plans of my own and know that it should be a step in the right direction. For a while now I have not really thought about what I would do to start a new life, but I feel this reading is telling me that I should get off my duff and get going, get started with my new life.


It is also telling me I am a product of my life experiences, and that I should embrace all the aspects of what got me to today, including the good stuff. I'm so negative all the time, I mean sometimes it doesn't show here on my blog, but trust me, I am a "expect the worst and hope for the best" kind of person. I'm a pessimist. But what about the good? I've have lots of amazing and really great memories from my childhood and my adulthood prior to today. Why not use those, instead of focusing on the bad? Life really is what you make it, and it seems I am making it bad by thinking negative thoughts.


I have also noticed that I have been going around and around with these thoughts for several months now. All the signs have been pointing to me needing to change, to embrace the change, and I have heard, but I have not "listened". I talk and I talk, but what gets done to move ahead? Not much. Am I ready to get on with life, ready to live? Or am I going to go back to the same thought process? Every time so far, I have just gone back to being the same old me after a short flameup. No passion, no drive, just blah. This tarot reading is SCREAMING at me, saying, WAKE UP DUDE, OR YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!!!


I posted this mainly because of the affect it had on me, but I wanted to say also that if there is anyone else out there who is in the same boat, and is struggling changing their mindset, I'd love to hear from you. I am happy to have gotten this revelation, and I wanted to share to help and uplift anyone else who may feel like me.

2 comments:

Magaly Guerrero said...

WOW! It does suggest change quite a bit, huh? Like you, I've been going through many changes lately--or at least trying to make them. I think I might head to that site to see what it says about me.

Bella Foxglove said...

I am glad you feel as drawn to that deck as I do, I just love the imagery on it...

The cards are very reflective of the way things have been going in your life.

Ifate is a cool site, I like the Iching and Numerology on there...

This was a great post...thank you for sharing your cards with us...