Happy Samhain everyone!
This is my first time celebrating this holiday, and I have to say I am a little disappointed I had to miss the first 37 of my life.
Samhain is all about honoring the people and things that have come before, and as many of you will be, on this day I will be remembering and reflecting on everything and everyone in my life that has brought me to where I am today.
I'm doing a simple ritual. I will be calling on my patron god and goddess, Cernunnos and Freya, to be with me for it. I'm writing down on a piece of paper all the things in my life that I want to get rid of, like laziness, and self pity, and self deprecation. I'm writing down all the things I want to replace those with, things like love, light, and a sense of responsibility and purpose. Then I'm going to burn that paper, like so many of you, and watch the smoke rise into the heavens carrying my will along with it, and then bury the ashes.
My time so far as a pagan has been spent mainly on personal growth. I had no idea when I started down this path that I would be required to look inside myself and confront my personal demons. I have had many difficulties working through my issues with ego, and embracing all that was and is part of me whether I found it palatable or not. It has been a exercise in humility, and it is still a work in progress.
I used to use a line I borrowed from the British television series "Doctor Who" whenever I felt I had achieved a new level of personal growth. In the show, the Doctor has the ability to "regenerate" whenever he is close to death, and becomes another person, at least in physical appearance. In one particular episode however, his 5th incarnation is working alongside all of his "former" selves, and he observes that their/his behavior has changed along with his appearance, and he says "I am not the man I was."
I no longer use that quote. If there is one thing I've learned being a pagan it's this.
I am not just a man. I am so much more. And in this new year, I plan to become more. To live my life as it was meant to be lived. To feel a connection to all of nature and to be thankful to be a part of it. To know that to be human, to be alive, is to experience the universe, to do, to act, for without action, without movement, nothing is gained, and eventually, we die.
Thanks to all of you who have walked with me on my path this year, even those of you who may have just joined me, your comments and your advice have given me the inspiration to be better than I am, and the courage to take the actions necessary to achieve my goals. Next year will be a good one, come what may, because I know that everything will unfold exactly as it should, and that, my friends, gives me a tremendous feeling of peace.
Brightest Blessings and Love and Light in this New Year!
October 31, 2009
Happy Samhain everyone!