March 31, 2010

Eggs of a different sort....

I've got a dragon egg! I found this in a post by Bella on Memoirs of a Crazy Witch. You go to the site, and pick yourself a dragon egg to raise, and post it on your blog or other site. See mine over there in the sidebar? Click on it and you'll find the site to get your own. Have fun folks!

March 29, 2010

An update on my job search!! Good news!!

I got some calls today, I may just have a job soon! Check out my post on my other blog, The Stag Warrior Speaks, for all the details!

After so many months of putting in applications, of pounding pavement, and searching and searching, I am finally seeing some results. Now more than ever, I know that my move was for the best. Things are looking up, and I hope to be able to report in the next few days that I am once again gainfully employed.

The energies of this whole situation only fill me with positive vibes, and once again I am reminded of the power of visualization and positive thinking. Good things can and do come if you truly see them happen, and then take the necessary steps to bring those thoughts into reality. I am extremely happy, and I wanted to allow every single one of you to share in my happiness. Have a great day!!

March 23, 2010

I read it in a book

Today my journey through life took me to Barnes and Noble, and to a book called "The Day You Were Born" by Linda Joyce. Now while I didn't have sufficient means to buy the book, I took some time to read the part that had to do with the day that "I" was born. What I found was the most accurate depiction of my inner workings that I have ever read. The book uses numerology and astrology to tell you in depth how you are as a person from just the date of your birth. Not the year, just the month and the day. As many of you know, my date of birth is July 2nd, which makes me a Cancer, and boy, did this book ever go into intricate detail about what makes up a Cancer, what makes them tick. Not only that, but then it gives each sequence of days a description of its own, and by sequence, I mean the numerology sequence of the numbers 1 through 9. I'm not completely sure how it works, but it starts with the first day of the month, with 1, and then goes through the ninth with nine, and I think then the sequence repeats throughout the consecutive days thereafter.

Hopefully I got that right, but the thing I got the most out of reading it was that I myself have some serious internal work to do. It said everything about me that I know to be true. I am eccentric, extreme, and most importantly, when it comes to my internal thoughts, there are no boundaries. It also said that I should learn to manage my fears, something I have NEVER been able to do.

Anyway, to make what I could turn into an extremely long story short, I will just say that I am about to embark on a pretty major internal overhaul. I'm going to make myself some rules, to assure that I create some internal boundaries, and to make myself accountable for what I think and do. I also intend to find who it is I really am during this process, and to start doing things differently than before, not to an extreme as is my norm, but just different. My thoughts have been my undoing for all this time, so it's time to change those thoughts, and become "me".

My life, today

Hello again, and welcome to my life. My new life as a single man. Well at least in living conditions, the paperwork has yet to be filed. It's going on three weeks since I moved out, and the adjustment is proceeding well. I didn't know I would be so petrified at first, having to do things completely on my own. I had become so accustomed to someone always being there to assist me, that I literally didn't know what to do when I finally had the ability to choose things for myself. However, the strings have not yet been fully cut, as, due to my continuing lack of employment, I am still relying on her for financial support. It gives me no pleasure to have to do that, as the whole point of moving out on my own was to have the freedom to do as I want, and not to have to rely on someone else to provide for me. But I am doing well looking for a job, my effort is good. There's still so much I have to do, such as actually get my own place, as for the moment I am relying on a friend to provide me with a roof over my head. That's basically all he and his girlfriend are doing for me, so for the most part, I can consider myself about 70 percent single, on my own.

Why do I go on and on about this? Because for the last 38 years, I have not been single, not in the true sense of the word. Always there has been someone, always doing for me, or somehow providing for my needs, and therefore, I have always had someone I had to "answer" to, always had to consider someone else's needs before my own. Frankly, I got tired of it. So I left. Of course, that wasn't the only motivation behind my move. I have documented on this blog in the past my issues with my wife, mainly the fact that she and I are just not compatible in a romantic relationship. We fought tooth and nail over the simplest of things, and while that in itself isn't unusual, the fact that we have different views on just about everything that is important IS the reason we aren't compatible. Spiritual goals, lifestyle goals, the direction our children's education and location of that education, the list goes on. We agree on very few things. Add to that fact that she is the kind of person that MUST have things go her way or she is impossible to live with, and we find ourselves at the point we are now. About to get a divorce.

There's volumes I could write about how I "feel" about this whole situation, but right now is the time for thinking. I've bogged myself down for too many years worrying about how I was "feeling" about things, and doing very little to actually change them. I can say that this is the right thing that I'm doing, for everyone involved, including my children. They will in the long run have a better life. Sure, they won't see me every day, but they still know that I love them, and that they are taken care of. I don't know what the future holds, but for once I can wake up in the morning and know that whatever I do, I do it because it was my choice, my decision, and not because someone else said I "had" to do it.

With that I will leave you for now, it is late, and there are jobs waiting for me to apply for them when I awake in the morning. Have a good night and day, all you in blogland, and I will report again soon on what has transpired.

March 14, 2010

Apologies, and changes

Greetings to all who follow, and apologies for my month long absence.

Some of you follow my other blog, The Stag Warrior Speaks, so you are aware of my recent happenings, but for the rest of you, my life has taken such a turn that I can truly say I am never going back. I moved out of the house, and am actively searching for a job in my new home about an hour down the road whilst staying with some friends. I've done well in that endeavor after about a week of adjusting to what amounts to a "single" existence, and I don't mind telling you, I was a bit petrified.

I've started my new life, my journey has found a new path, and so too will this blog. I have found that the "story" style of writing has not come to me as often as I would have liked. Therefore, changes are in order. I intend to sleep on it, and make those changes, whatever they may be, in a few days.

Thanks for following, and stay tuned, as I am optimistic about what is to come.