October 10, 2009

Hello ladies, my name is Rayden

I've had something rolling about in my cranium for some time now, and finally managed to grab hold of it to apply it to this page.

I have been a pagan now going on six months. In that time, I have learned about being connected to the earth, the universe, energy, gods, goddesses, you get the idea.

I've mentioned before that I follow mostly pagan women's blogs. The men's blogs I have seen tend to be very holier than thou, arrogant, "hey look at me, i've got powers!" kind of stuff. No offense guys, but there's a lot of that out there.

Having said that, ladies, I do follow your blogs hoping to gain insight on being a pagan, learning about the sabats and esbats and any other bats you come up with. Wait, now is that a ritual or a holiday, month of the year, or just a piece for your altar? Herbs, spices, making "potions", charging crystals, the list goes on forever.

But then there's the other stuff. The crafty stuff, the cooking stuff, and the giveaways, wow there are SO many giveaways. You can imagine from a man's standpoint that a lot of this just glazes our eyes over. And now this latest bit. The awards. 

I myself have received a couple of the awards, and I've got to tell you, I was deeply honored that someone would nominate me. Oh wait, that's something too. If I'm just nominated, doesn't that mean I didn't actually win yet? I thought if you are nominated for something, it just means there is a possibility that you will be chosen from the pool of nominees to be the winner. Must work differently in the blog world. Anyway, I was glad to be chosen, and felt honored, not bothered, to bestow the award on other bloggers I felt were worthy of it.

I have left comments on some of your blogs, some of your posts, and I truly say what I feel because I want to give credit where credit is due. I am a more emotional man than some, so my speech is colored with "rainbows and butterflies" more attributed to women than men. But make no mistake. I am a man. I am not just a big pile of gush.

I do wish to thank all of you who regularly comment on my posts, your encouragement and kindness are appreciated more than you could ever know. I am truly blessed to have all of you with me on my journey down my path of life. You have my gratitude.

Having said that, I have decided to take my blog in a different direction. I'm sure I will be posting about my feelings on a regular basis, but I want to concentrate more in growing and learning on spiritual things, and connecting with my spirit guides and totem animals. So, to that end, I will be posting questions and comments on everything related to those things, and I welcome any and all feedback from anyone who feels they can be of help. I am still a very green witch, pardon the pun, and I want to learn.

The first thing I want to ask about is my goddess issue. I don't know who she is, but I've seen her in two different visions, or dreams. She looks like a blue mist, but she's always been behind me, just barely in view. The Horned One, the Green Man, Cernunnos himself is always prevalent, but not the goddess, and I wonder why. I was even shown my main totem, the stag, in my first vision/dream, but I know of no other totems. What is the meaning of that? I really want to know, to learn, to really connect with the spiritual, but it seems I've reached a sort of dead end.

In closing, ladies, I thank you. You are a constant reminder of all that is good with the world. And guys, do yourselves a favor. Get down off your pedestals and see what these women have to offer. 

Just don't get caught up in the gush.


Jenandollie said...

I know how you feel. As you know I'm fairly new to all this too.

Ever since I was little I have always had a drawing to the Egyptian and Greek Goddesses & Gods but my ancestry is Celtic so I feel slightly honour bound to follow them. All I am doing whilst finding my way is to read, listen and contemplate. I feel that they will come to me when I am truly ready. I think if I search too hard I might miss the overall point.

Sorry that sounds a bit pompous reading it back though I just can't think of a better way of explaining myself!

Celia (Head Witch of the Hollow) said...

Rayden...Please don't take this the wrong way...but...

If your Goddess is standing behind you so that you cannot see her...have you tried to turn round to face her?
Sounds simple I know...but you have obviously accepted your God figure...maybe you just need to "Face" your Goddess.
And sometimes fear can prevent us from seeing our path...do you have any fears of what you may find?

Don't know if that helps at all...

I understand what you mean about your blog direction too...sometimes you get to the point where enough is truly enough!

Good look with your Goddess!

Tracy said...

Firstly, let me give you the best piece of advice I can...read! Read, read, read!! I would suggest beginning with the classics, Gerald Gardner, Raymond Buckland, Isaac Bonewits, Janet and Stewart Ferrar, Deborah Lipp (my friend and High Priestess)just to name a few. There are some really awful books out there as well, but that doesn't mean there aren't lessons to be learned from them. Just take them with a grain of salt.

Secondly it took years for my Patroness to reveal herself to me. She may be standing behind you because she is guiding you and not ready to reveal herself. She will, in time.

Rue said...

Meditation, meditation, mediation. I know. Really. It's boring. It takes forever. Sometimes you get nothing. But I promise, if you just stick with it, you will soon find you are getting more out of it than you could have ever imagined.

You can also ask specifically for your (or "a") Goddess to appear to you. I know I've had to ask for quite a while before the God showed himself to me. It's definitely a daily practice thing for me, so perhaps setting aside some time each day to open yourself up to meeting the Goddess would work.

Unfortunately we are not "one size fits all" when it comes to our spirituality, so what works for us may not jive for you - but I hope you find something that you can work with!

The Traveler said...

Everyone has given great advice here! The best I can give you is a bit of a twist on Rue's and Celia's. Remember that divinity is as much prone to the emotions that rule us as we view them in terms that our minds can relate to. So seek your goddess. Every lady likes to be asked, and will make herself available to be asked, but you still have to ask her. Actively seek her in your meditation and vision quests. Go into with what images and feelings you do have about her already in your mind and heart and then let what emotions you feel for her slide into your consciousness.
It may not work the first time, but eventually she will come. And then read like crazy to find out as much as you can about her so you know what she needs from you and how to get the guidance you need from her!
Since I don't follow any set pathway that is the best advice I can give. That and asking as many questions as many times as you need to until you gain confidence in your own knowledge and ability. Remember never to settle for just one source. Even if what you find doesn't mesh well with you, knowledge is power. Witches were always called "wise ones" (except by those wanting to burn us of course). Wisdome comes with knowledge tempered by experience. Our lives are our best teachers.

and now I've ranted on so I'll shut up and let the next person chime in =).

Rayden Darklighter said...

Thank you ladies for all of that "sage" advice. hee hee

Reading and meditating and facing are things I will do, and I'll let you know how it goes.

You are all wonderful, the universe has truly blessed me.

Jupiter Greenmoone said...

Hey Rayden, I'd like to send you an e-mail but there isn't one listed in your profile. My comments are private until I publish them so if you'd like to leave your e-mail in a comment, I can delete it before it's published.