I don't know

Tonight I feel like I am moving through the middle of the transition of this change that's taking place, you know, the one a lot of people have been feeling lately. The energy of the universe is constantly changing, but at this particular moment, it seems to be a bigger change than "normal".

Right now it feels like the eye of the storm. Nothing really changing, or just subtlety so, but the knowledge that the "rest" of the big shift is on the horizon is very prevalent.

I'm really getting upset about not having a job. Frustrated is probably a better word. Now I don't want to go off on some "oh woe is me" tangent, as that would just do nothing but put everyone in a bad mood, and be counterproductive for me, but I just wanted to put that out there. I just need to try harder, and I'm sure it will happen. At least that's what the cards say. The cards never lie, so for me, I know there is a job in my near future, and I'll be sure to give you all the excruciating details when it happens.

There's not much going on in my mundane world at all right now, other than the usual hustle and bustle of having five kids in the house. I've had a lot of time to think, which in and of itself has been an amazing thing. I've been noticing an increase in my awareness. The "vibes" in a room, the emotional state of someone I'm around, I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like I can "hear" everything. I told you in my last post about a song I found for raising incredible amounts of energy. I have noticed as I have practiced doing it knowing what I was actually doing, it feels different. I have always had my "power" songs, ever since I was a teen. I have always felt that shiver down my spine while listening to one, but now, it's my whole body. I can feel it in my hands, I can really feel the energy, it's an awesome feeling, and so humbling at the same time. It's a feeling of knowing I have been given a gift, and I am honored and privileged to pass it along to others who might need it. I want to heal others, and I want to take negative energy they have and turn it into positive. I hope that no one reading this thinks I'm bat shit crazy now, because this is real. I feel like I was born to be an energy "processing plant", intuitively sensing it, and moving it where it needs to go. That's what a channeler is, right? I plan to meditate on this, and see what the universe has to say about it.

I've also really tried to dive right into my studies on the tarot, trouble is, I haven't got a deck. So I am improvising for the moment with a regular deck of playing cards, and we seem to be getting along well. It's like they understand, and are doing the best they can, just as I am. It is my understanding that it was meant to happen for me this way, to help me to better understand that it's not so much the cards' magic, but my own magickal energy and intuition that is what I'm utilizing. The human condition has always been something I've felt I had a sort of intuition about, somehow I just "know" how things are going to progress, how people feel. I feel like it's a "coming home" of sorts that I started learning about the tarot, like it was what I was meant to do. Not sure where that comes from, but it's a strong feeling I have.

Wait I can't be a channeler AND a tarot card reader can I?

I don't know.

Any ideas anyone?