October 13, 2009

Job hunt

A hearty hello to all of you in blogland!


I finally got up off my lazy duff today and really went job hunting.


I applied at Walmart, well actually amended my application to include night stocking, and to change my available times to ALL the time.


I also applied at Burger King, Dollar Tree, and O'Reilly Auto Parts.


Then, I went by an employment agency that specializes in acquiring substitute teachers, and got the info I needed to get the ball rolling with that. You may remember from an earlier post I did that I want to get involved in teaching, and this seems a great way to do it. I've sent an email to them with the info they require, so hopefully things are going to get going with that now.


I also ran by another employment agency and talked to a lady I used to work with and have already emailed her my resume.


All in all it was a good trip, and I hope to see some results soon.


Thanks to all the well wishers.

October 11, 2009

The Awakening

This particular piece was written by Sonny Carroll, but I was so moved by it I just had to post it.




" THE AWAKENING"
 
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of
all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your
tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world
through new eyes.
 
This is your awakening.
 
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change...or for happiness, safety and security to come gallop- ing over the
next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince
Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy
tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
 
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the
importance of loving and champion- ing yourself...and in the process a
sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
 
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to
you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really
count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what
they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there
for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your
own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.
 
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties.. and in the process a sense of peace and contentment
is born of forgiveness.
 
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around
you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been
ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap
you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.
 
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with ....and in the process you learn to go with your
instincts.
 
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering
through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn
that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals
of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.
 
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one
you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you
learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop
giving and when to walk away.
 
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
 
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for
the things you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
 
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you
learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it
and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more
water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels
doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just
as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to
laugh and to play.
 
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life truly is a self- fulfilling prophecy. You
learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing
for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More import- antly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do
it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
 
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron
of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to
fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you
learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of
impending doom.
 
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think
you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn
that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just
life happening.
 
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are
wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
 
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a
long hot shower.
 
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by your- self and you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle
for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep
smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
 
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live
as best you can.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

October 10, 2009

Hello ladies, my name is Rayden

I've had something rolling about in my cranium for some time now, and finally managed to grab hold of it to apply it to this page.


I have been a pagan now going on six months. In that time, I have learned about being connected to the earth, the universe, energy, gods, goddesses, you get the idea.


I've mentioned before that I follow mostly pagan women's blogs. The men's blogs I have seen tend to be very holier than thou, arrogant, "hey look at me, i've got powers!" kind of stuff. No offense guys, but there's a lot of that out there.


Having said that, ladies, I do follow your blogs hoping to gain insight on being a pagan, learning about the sabats and esbats and any other bats you come up with. Wait, now is that a ritual or a holiday, month of the year, or just a piece for your altar? Herbs, spices, making "potions", charging crystals, the list goes on forever.


But then there's the other stuff. The crafty stuff, the cooking stuff, and the giveaways, wow there are SO many giveaways. You can imagine from a man's standpoint that a lot of this just glazes our eyes over. And now this latest bit. The awards. 


I myself have received a couple of the awards, and I've got to tell you, I was deeply honored that someone would nominate me. Oh wait, that's something too. If I'm just nominated, doesn't that mean I didn't actually win yet? I thought if you are nominated for something, it just means there is a possibility that you will be chosen from the pool of nominees to be the winner. Must work differently in the blog world. Anyway, I was glad to be chosen, and felt honored, not bothered, to bestow the award on other bloggers I felt were worthy of it.


I have left comments on some of your blogs, some of your posts, and I truly say what I feel because I want to give credit where credit is due. I am a more emotional man than some, so my speech is colored with "rainbows and butterflies" more attributed to women than men. But make no mistake. I am a man. I am not just a big pile of gush.


I do wish to thank all of you who regularly comment on my posts, your encouragement and kindness are appreciated more than you could ever know. I am truly blessed to have all of you with me on my journey down my path of life. You have my gratitude.


Having said that, I have decided to take my blog in a different direction. I'm sure I will be posting about my feelings on a regular basis, but I want to concentrate more in growing and learning on spiritual things, and connecting with my spirit guides and totem animals. So, to that end, I will be posting questions and comments on everything related to those things, and I welcome any and all feedback from anyone who feels they can be of help. I am still a very green witch, pardon the pun, and I want to learn.


The first thing I want to ask about is my goddess issue. I don't know who she is, but I've seen her in two different visions, or dreams. She looks like a blue mist, but she's always been behind me, just barely in view. The Horned One, the Green Man, Cernunnos himself is always prevalent, but not the goddess, and I wonder why. I was even shown my main totem, the stag, in my first vision/dream, but I know of no other totems. What is the meaning of that? I really want to know, to learn, to really connect with the spiritual, but it seems I've reached a sort of dead end.


In closing, ladies, I thank you. You are a constant reminder of all that is good with the world. And guys, do yourselves a favor. Get down off your pedestals and see what these women have to offer. 


Just don't get caught up in the gush.