Update, and a rant

Hi folks, thanks for stopping by!

Well, I'm done with orientation and "training", and I start tomorrow night actually doing my job. I'd like to say that for all the bad reputation Walmart has as a company, it sure seems to me that they really care about their employees. I could be wrong, but the policies they have, especially those on recycling, in my opinion, are unmatched by any other corporation. This might be a company I'd like to make a career out of. I'm not getting any younger, and I need a company like this where there are real opportunities for advancement. My mother thinks I should still be looking for a better job. With all due respect Mom, this is my life, and I'm going to live it my way. I have had enough of listening to others' advice, letting other people control my decisions, that was the main reason I left my very unhealthy relationship just over a month ago. Incidentally, it is ironic to me that in the entire time I was with my wife, my mother called me a total of 3 times in 19 years, 3, the rest of the times it was me calling her. Tells me that she did not approve of my relationship, and just never bothered to tell me. Anyway, the reason she called today was to ask me for my address, she wants to send me something. Which is something else she did very little of over the last 19 years. Oh sure, she sent things to the kids on birthdays and Christmas and whatever, usually gift cards though, and as for me, hardly a thing. Anyway, we'll see. I'm not really worried about it, just seems fishy to me. I'm not losing any sleep over it, that's for sure.

I wanted to write this down so I could look at it later, life is really about to change for me, and there is a feeling of loss, but as my favorite saying goes, "There is no loss, only change." I've gone from being co-dependent and downright indecisive and being with a control freak, to being alone and in charge of my life. Someday a woman will come along that can handle both my extreme emotional nature, with ups and downs sometimes switching by the minute, and my overabundant gushiness. She will respect me for what I am, for who I am, even when "I" am a different person at least outwardly from day to day. I have a lot to offer, and it's a shame that people will still judge on the basis of appearance, I've met plenty that still do. I found out that I wasn't compatible with the woman I stayed with for almost 20 years, but in that time I also found out who I WAS compatible with, and that's a whole lot of people. It's just too bad that they all passed me over just because I'm not a "bad boy," because I'm not a cowboy, not country enough, I'm just the nice guy who they want as a friend.  Always they want the big and burly treat them like shit types. All I have to say to that ladies, is, YOUR LOSS!! Oh and this sensitive "really nice" guy has done his share of treating like shit. I mean let's face it, I was the one that left HER, and broke her heart, yeah, real nice. Anyway, all I have to say on this is that somewhere, my lady is out there, and when the universe deems it's time, I will find her. I'm sick of being alone, I want female companionship. Whatever, too bad none are strong enough to stand with me, and not try to control me, I don't need control, I want and need a true equal. Someday maybe...............someday.